


Make You Understand

by sacheland



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Pre-Canon, Pre-Slash, The time when Otabek stayed in Canada
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-03
Updated: 2018-01-03
Packaged: 2019-02-19 01:57:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13113516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sacheland/pseuds/sacheland
Summary: JJ is unfathomable.Yet, he’s also the most genuine, stubborn andinsecureperson.Otabek, for all his quiet and unspoken words, understands.





	Make You Understand

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fallsintograce](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fallsintograce/gifts).



> I'M SOOOOO SORRRYYYYYYYYY THAT THIS FIC TAKES SOOO DAMN LONG TO FINISH  
> I didn't get my shit together sooner even though it's such a short fic. fml
> 
> I hope you like this fic though!
> 
> Also, many thanks to [Julie](http://archiveofourown.org/users/LGFUADJJ/) who helped me bounce ideas and edit this fic.

The air is frigid. Otabek watches his breaths puff before him, standing on the side of the rink with his skates on. His feet are battered, hurt, and bruised. Yet, he scarcely feels the pain when there’s an uncertainty in his mind.

He wonders if everything is for naught.

It’s been a few weeks since he met his family. A few weeks in Canada, practicing and training, again and again. Still, he feels stagnant. Sure, there are a lot of improvements in his skating— _but it’s not enough_.

Not good enough to win anything.

“You’re not going to the rink?” JJ asks, skating towards Otabek with a grin.

Otabek stares at him impassively and shrugs. He doesn’t know what to say to JJ. He can barely interact with JJ on a daily basis. JJ is too loud, too bright and being anywhere near him feels like standing under the sun for too long. Yet with JJ’s eyes on him, Otabek feels vulnerable. As if he can look inside of him and see everything. Otabek takes off his skate guards to escape his gaze.

“Come here,” JJ takes his hand and Otabek frowns. “I’ll teach you how to do the quad salchow.”

He steps into the rink.

————

“You really like that song.”

“I do,” JJ pauses playing the guitar. “It’s a very good song, don’t you think?”

Otabek shrugs. He doesn’t care that much about the song. He only knows that song as the rickrolling meme. However, it seems JJ genuinely loves that song—though he wonders if JJ knows about the meme or not.

There’s a lot of instruments and equipment in the music room, with rows of music sheets, books, and records on the shelves. He runs his fingers over the cover of the Jimi Hendrix vinyl box set and feels a little bit more settled. Rock music never fails to calm him, and with the vinyl—it feels like he has the presence of one of the greatest legends on his fingers.

“What kind of music do you like?”

Otabek turns from the Led Zeppelin vinyl records. “Rock, mostly.”

“Can you play any instrument?”

“I—” Otabek starts to say but he pauses. There’s a DJ controller system on the table.

JJ sees Otabek’s line of sight and puts down his guitar. “Do you DJ?”

“No,” he approaches the DJ controller system. “I’m just interested.”

“You can use it, you know.” JJ walks toward him. “I can teach you how.”

Otabek bites his lip. He _is_ interested. JJ may be loud—but he’s a pretty good teacher, and Otabek doesn’t mind to be in his presence anymore since—weirdly enough—he likes listening to JJ as he rambles on and on about whatever is on his mind.

“Sure.”

————

When he’s in the rink, he feels the cold air and the ice under his skates. He sees his future and his dreams as he jumps.

When he’s in the music room, he feels the rhythm around him. Controlled, and sinking into his bones. Leaving nothing else but him and the music.

————

JJ is unfathomable.

He loves people. He loves to talk and listen to others. However, JJ is… dense. He can be very insensitive and awkward sometimes, as if he doesn’t know how to talk to people no matter how much _he wants to_. Otabek sees it everytime they interact, and everytime JJ is around someone else—because somehow his eyes are drawn to JJ without meaning to—JJ can come off to be such a petty, arrogant person.

 _Yet_ , he’s also the most genuine, stubborn and _insecure_ person.

It’s in the days they spend together, when JJ rambles on and on and suddenly purses his lips, as if to stop the words—to keep it to himself and curls into himself, trying to change the line of conversation. As if he can’t bear to be vulnerable, to be less than perfect.

Otabek, for all his quiet and unspoken words, understands. It’s buzzing under his skin, the constant expectation from everyone around him. To be the best in everything he does, the pride of his country and the son his family can be proud of—it’s _too much_. Sometimes he feels like he’s in chains, strangled by expectation.

It’s in the music room among the instruments and music sheets. When JJ’s voice lulls over him as the music plays and they’re sitting on the floor with the rhythm in their hands.

And he feels like he’s flying on the ice.

————

It’s a gradual thing.

He sees the dark bags under JJ’s eyes. The way he bites his lips as he does his homework, hair a mess from how many times his fingers run over it. The bruises on his feet as he slumps on the side of the rink, looking dead on his feet from fatigue. The scratches on the music sheets that he throws to the trash—deeming them unsuitable to play, and his fights with his bandmates.

JJ is running himself into the ground.

“Let’s go,” Otabek stands up.

JJ looks up from the scattered music sheets on the floor. “Go?”

“Out,” he says but doesn’t elaborate. He just takes JJ’s hand and drags him out of the music room.

Slowly, JJ turns his hand around and squeezes Otabek’s softly. “Okay.”

————

“Life of Pi?”

“It should be interesting,” Otabek says as they buy popcorn and drinks.

“It’s a story about—” JJ looks at the poster, “a boy and a tiger on a ship?”

Otabek doesn’t reply. He walks towards the movie theatre with JJ following behind.

“Is this a fantasy movie?” JJ asks curiously when they take a seat. “Are they on the way to fight something? I wonder if the tiger is actually something else or—”

“JJ,” Otabek shoves the 3D glasses to his hand. “Just watch the movie.”

He shouldn’t even be surprised that JJ never shuts up, or that he cries when the movie ends.

“It’s just so sad,” JJ wipes his nose with tissues. His other hand is still clutching Otabek’s hand tightly. Otabek wonders if his hand will ever recover, as it has been numb for the last three hours since JJ was far too excited and terrified while watching the movie. Even after the movie ends, Otabek doesn’t have the heart to pull his hand away. “They were together for a long time, but Richard Parker didn’t even look back!”

“Richard Parker is a tiger,” Otabek offers tea and JJ drinks it gratefully.

“Still!” JJ blows his nose. “They should—I thought—they have an understanding!” He cries harder.

Otabek winces. He really doesn’t know how to handle other people’s feelings, but letting JJ  continue crying isn’t an option either.

So he starts humming.

Slowly, JJ raises his head from the crook of his elbow. “Did you—are you humming _that song_?”

“No,” Otabek says in a deadpan tone, yet he continues humming.

“You are!” A grin stretches on his lips. “You’re _rickrolling_!”

Well, it seems JJ _does_ know the meme.

“I can’t believe it,” JJ wheezes. “And you are humming with such a straight face!”

Otabek raises an eyebrow and stops humming, watching JJ as he laughs freely, his tears turning into tears of laughter. Still, Otabek considers it a win. It feels like it’s been a long time since he heard JJ’s laugh. He’s been pretending to be fine for weeks, stressed but doesn’t want anyone to see his vulnerable side.

JJ helped him a lot for the past few months he’s been here, and Otabek owes him. He may not be the best to comfort someone, but he hopes—

“It’s okay to talk,” Otabek says, looking JJ in the eyes. “You don’t have to act with me.”

The laughter stops, but slowly JJ’s lips quirk into a soft smile. “I know,” he says, almost shyly. He squeezes Otabek’s hand briefly.

Otabek pretends his heart doesn’t skip a beat.

**Author's Note:**

> If you don't know what song it is, it's [Never Gonna Give You Up](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ).
> 
> —  
> Hit me up (preferably with a hammer) on [tumblr](http://sacheland.tumblr.com/)!


End file.
